How to Deal with Middle School “Mean Girls”

Raising a girl can be challenging. Moms, do you remember what it was like in middle school? Things were rough on their own with learning how to deal with our bodies physically changing, challenges of academics and worrying about friends and the drama that we would get pulled into. It’s intense and it is daily.

How many of us have been caught in a three-way phone call? You know the ones we’re talking about, where someone calls you, asks about a friend or another girl while having the other girl on the line quietly listening. Yup, those! Now a days, we are not only worrying about the dreaded three-way phone call; but also, social media, the toll it plays and the drama occurring in school.

We have come up with some tips to help you and your daughter deal with middle school drama and those “Mean Girls”.

• Make your home a safe place: When she comes home or when you see her after school, do something small or special for her. Ask about her day and be involved in the conversation. Explain a little about your day to start the conversation.
• Disconnect from social media and the internet from a set amount of time: Do something together. It can be something as small as finding a favorite show to watch together, anything that will bring her comfort and stability.
• Have open communication: Let her express how she feels and just listen. Sometimes we want to jump in and solve a problem right away for our children, but it is important for them to vent and get everything off their chest. Remember this isn’t about you, it’s about them.
• Empathize: After your daughter gets everything off her chest, and you process how she feels and why she feels that way, show her that you truly understand. Explain a time where you have felt that emotion, were treated that way, what you thought about and how you reacted. We at Bulldog use our Behavioral Triangle to help guide us through processes just like this.
• Explain Real Friendship: Real friendship doesn’t hurt. Like any healthy relationship, you should surround yourself with people who pull you up and not bring you down. These friends rally behind you, offer a smile and a hug, and always leave you feeling better about yourself. Let’s teach her to recognize friends like these and to recognize toxic relationships.
• Teach Confidence: It can sometimes be difficult to be yourself and not worry about what others think, hey even adults are guilty of this, but you can always plant the seed. Leave your daughter some positive affirmations in the bathroom with a post it every day. What about a note in her room or a random text message! These little steps can go a long way. Continue to plant these seeds, water them and watch her confidence grow.

These are just a few tips you can utilize to help when your daughter is dealing with “Mean Girls”. Most importantly let’s remember how tough it is in middle school and being a young girl. Listening, and planting those little seeds of confidence can go a long way!

Below is our Behavioral Triangle, use this phenomenal tool when empathizing and talking to your daughter about what’s going on with these mean girls.

With all our love,

Bulldog Team
Written by Alex Arriaga
Social Media Strategist and Consultant
Bulldog Solution
Alex@bulldogsolution.com